Learning to Move with the Storm
Sometimes it can be hard to face the cold hard reality that you have to ride this one out. Here are some things that help make the storm a bit easier to weather.
Sometimes life doesn’t give you a way around the storm.
Trust me, I’ve looked.
I’ve spent plenty of time waiting for difficult seasons to end before allowing myself to feel okay again. Waiting for anxiety to calm down. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for some magical moment where everything finally clicks into place.
But as I’m sure you know, life hardly ever works on our timeline.
Some storms do pass quickly, sure.
Others seem determined to unpack their bags and stay way past the agreed weekend.
And if we’re constantly waiting for perfect weather, we end up putting our lives on hold.
Stop Trying to Control Everything
I know... Easier said than done.
When things start falling apart, most of us go straight into problem-solving mode. We want answers. We want a plan. We want some kind of guarantee that everything will work out in the end.
I’ve learned the hard way that not every problem can be solved immediately. (WHAT?!)
Some situations just have to be lived through, and that means you can’t even start to think about giving up.
It means recognizing the difference between what you can control and what you can’t, and how powerful that is in your real life.
You can’t stop the rain, but you can decide how you’re going to walk through it.
The Next Step Matters More Than the Whole Journey
One thing that always gets me into trouble is trying to solve my entire future at 2 a.m. Maybe you can relate. I still have an issue with this, but I’m human and I’m trying. It’s part of the reason why I write like this.
It helps me when I can help others feel less alone.
When life gets overwhelming, I tend to start looking ten miles down the road instead of focusing on what’s directly in front of me.
The truth is, most of us don’t need the entire map.
We just need the next step.
Sometimes that step is something big, sometimes it’s getting out of bed. Sometimes it’s answering that text you’ve been avoiding, and sometimes it’s just making yourself a cup of coffee and deciding you’ll try again tomorrow.
Small steps count too.
Especially during the heavier storms.
You’re Allowed to Have Bad Days
This one took me a long time to learn.
For years, I thought strength meant pushing everything down and pretending I was fine. Spoiler alert: that doesn’t work.
At least not for very long.
Ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them disappear. It just means they eventually show up at the worst possible time.
You gotta remind yourself that you’re allowed to be frustrated.
You’re allowed to be scared.
You’re allowed to admit that things are fucking hard.
Be honest about who you are to others, but also yourself because that is the real first step toward healing.
Don’t Miss What’s Still Good
Storms have a way of grabbing all our attention.
We focus on what’s wrong.
What’s broken.
What’s missing.
What’s uncertain.
That is just human nature. Our minds like to protect ourselves, so we have to focus on fixing what is broken first. That “instinct”, we’ll call it, is helpful for a TON of things; but it can get out of control fast.
I’ve been guilty of that more times than I can count.
But even in difficult seasons, there are usually small things worth holding onto.
A conversation with someone you love.
A good meal, a quiet evening, a laugh you weren’t expecting.
Remind yourself with those things that life isn’t all storm, at least not all the time.
You’re More Than What You’re Going Through
Whatever storm you’re facing right now, remember this:
It isn’t who you are.
It’s something you’re experiencing.
Those are two very different things.
You are not your anxiety, your grief, or your worst moment. You’re a person doing their best to navigate a difficult season.
That is enough.
If you’re in the middle of a storm right now, I don’t have a magic solution for you.
I wish I did. What I can tell you is that you don’t need to have everything figured out today. You don’t need to know how the story ends, or carry tomorrow’s weight before it arrives.
Just focus on the next step, and then the one after that.
Keep moving and keep showing up.
And when the clouds finally break (and believe me, eventually they will; where there is dark there must be equal light) you’ll realize something important:
You were stronger than you thought.
You just couldn’t see it through the rain.