The Quicksand Paradox
If you're anything like me, you want to help people whenever you can–to a fault. Let's talk about that dreaded quicksand.
We've all been there: someone we care about is struggling, and our first instinct is to rush in and fix everything.
We offer a helping hand, pour out advice, and try to be their rock. But what happens when, beneath our confident exterior, we ourselves are feeling like we're sinking into quicksand?
The Illusion of Strength
There's a common misconception that to be helpful, we must first be perfectly stable. We feel we need to have all the answers, our own problems neatly tied up in a bow, before we can even think about supporting someone else.
This pressure often leads us to suppress our own struggles, putting on a brave face even when we're crumbling inside.
But attempting to help from a place of personal instability is like trying to lift someone else out of a hole while standing on shaky ground yourself.
Both of you are at risk. You can't help others if you're still sinking. This isn't selfish; it's a fundamental truth about well-being.
The Power of Vulnerability
The real strength often lies not in our ability to always be the helper, but in our capacity to be honest about our own needs. To say, "I want to help you, but I'm struggling too," is a profound act of vulnerability that can actually deepen connections and open doors for mutual support.
I know you’ve heard this before, but it's ok to be the one who asks for help.
In fact, it's more than okay; it's essential. Asking for help allows you to find your own footing, to replenish your own resources, and to eventually be in a stronger position to help others without sacrificing yourself in the process.
Get Out of the Quicksand—Reach Out
So, if you find yourself in the quicksand, don't be afraid to reach out. Your well-being matters, and sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is admit you need a hand.
When you allow yourself to be helped, you're not only taking care of yourself, but you're also setting an example for others to do the same.
At the end of the day, a truly strong community is one where everyone feels safe to be helped, not necessarily the helper themselves.